


Kloktober, Oct. 2nd: OTP or Favorite Character

by Morpheus626



Series: Lee's Kloktober 2020 [2]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26780266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: Okay so I have a few OTPs for the show (which ruins what OTP means, I know, but also, I don’t care lmao.)But I haven’t written Charles/Pickles in literally ages, so that’s what I went with for today’s prompt! Boyfriends being boyfriends, getting high as fuck together, celebrating.TW for drug mentions, drug use.
Relationships: Charles Foster Offdensen/Pickles the Drummer
Series: Lee's Kloktober 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948486
Kudos: 5





	Kloktober, Oct. 2nd: OTP or Favorite Character

“I can handle it,” Charles scoffed. 

“That’s adorable,” Pickles said. “Nah. Gimme my pipe back.” 

“No,” Charles said, and yanked it away from Pickles’ reaching hand. “Let me try it. I think you’ll be surprised with me.” 

“Charles,” Pickle said slowly. “Charlie. My man. Do you know all what I have packed in that right now? I can barely handle it, that’s why it’s the Party Pipe. When was the last time you did...anything?” 

“I do cocaine at least once a week,” Charles replied. “You don’t notice?” 

“Cocaine is supposed to like...hype you up! What sort of cocaine are you snorting?” Pickles laughed. 

“I am very excitable on those days, you have to have noticed-” 

Pickles was bent over laughing. “Excitable in what way?” 

Charles looked hurt. “You really can’t notice when I’ve been using it?” 

Pickles pulled him close with an arm, taking the chance to steal the pipe from him in the process. “I don’t mean to make ya feel bad. But no. You always seem..” 

He paused. “Well, like you. Never out of sorts, or off, or anything.” 

Charles slumped into his embrace, silent. 

“That isn’t a bad thing! You know how many assholes I know who do coke, who could benefit from bein’ able to do it and not turn into even worse assholes than they are sober?” Pickles said, but Charles didn’t say a word. 

“That isn’t what you want though, is it? Isn’t why you do it?” 

“To try and be more fun,” Charles muttered. “I don’t care most of the time, the ‘robot’ jokes and all that. I hadn’t done coke since college, but I started up again because I thought...well. Doesn’t matter, does it? I was wrong, and it doesn’t make a difference.” 

“Look,” Pickles said. “You don’t gotta do anything like that just to like...earn favor with us, or whatever? Ya know we’re just fuckin’ with you, when we call you a robot, right?” 

Charles nodded, but didn’t look over to meet Pickles’ gaze. 

Pickles frowned, and looked at the pipe. “You wanna see how fucked up you get on this?” 

“You’re right, I probably couldn’t handle it,” Charles mumbled. “Or it would put me to sleep, since apparently cocaine makes me seem that way.” 

“That ain’t what I was sayin’,” Pickles said. “And there is cocaine in here, but not too much. This is a very exact science, puttin’ together the Party Pipe. There’s some of everything in here. Uppers, downers, you get to go every direction at once!” 

“You’d let me try it?” 

Pickles pulled a second Party Pipe from his pocket, and handed it to Charles, intertwining their arms after he lit the pipes, as if they were going to do a champagne toast at a wedding. “Hell yeah. Let’s get fucked up.” 

“This isn’t professional-” 

“Ya gotta stop sayin’ that while we’re in bed together,” Pickles interrupted softly. “I love you, but seriously.” 

Charles nodded. “Noted. Anyway...I love you. Thank you, for this.” 

Pickles carefully leaned around the pipe to give him a kiss. “Don’t gotta thank me. It’s gonna be fun. And I’ll try and get the guys off the ‘robot’ bullshit, if you want.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“And I’ll get you some better cocaine,” Pickles interrupted. 

“I can hardly say no to that,” Charles smiled. “Should we lock ourselves in here, or anything, before we do this? If we’re going to get as fucked up as you say.” 

“Already got the doors and windows locked,” Pickles said. 

“And my mother said I would never find true love,” Charles sighed. 

“Your mother is the worst.” 

“She really is,” Charles said, before following Pickles’ lead and slipping the pipe into his mouth. 

\---

“Nathans-” 

“I know,” Nathan interrupted Toki, as he continued handing out ear plugs. “It’s only gonna get worse. We know what Pickles is like on the Party Pipe. But if Charles did some too...” 

He shuddered. “Just put the ear plugs in, and we’ll get through this.” 

“How ams they so louds?” Skwisgaar groaned. “Even my orgies ams not so louds! Ridiculous.” 

“He’s never let me try the Party Pipe, but oh, juscht because he’s fucking Charles-” 

“That’s not Pickles’ rule,” Nathan interrupted Murderface, jamming a pair of ear plugs into his hand. “That’s the band rule. Because you would be like, the worst, on it.” 

“I’m part of the band! I schould have been involved in that decision!” 

A particularly loud set of erotic moans echoed down the hall. 

“You know, I’m okay without it, on second thought,” Murderface said, and pushed the ear plugs into his ears. 

Nathan only nodded as he followed suit, and Toki and Skwisgaar after him. 

It was for one night, and next year, they’d make plans to be out of the house while Pickles and Charles celebrated their anniversary. 


End file.
